Friday, November 19, 2010

I think Mean Partner might be diagnosably Bipolar II

Having recently "studied up" on some mental health disorders for a case, I'm reasonably certain I have the credentialing ability to diagnosis Mean Partner with Bipolar II, which differs from Bipolar I because it includes more than one episode.

The dude was mean to me (nearly running me over in the hallway without acknowledging my existance, making totally inappropriate comments about how I was dressed - stop it, it wasn't sexual harrassment-type comments, et cetera). Then, I started coming in earlier (a kid cooordination decision for TDH and me), and he starts saying hello to me in the hall on his morning intimidation rounds around the office.

I didn't mind that change, of course, but now he's back to his mean ways, reinforcing my decision to nickname him "Mean Partner." Yesterday, in an attempt to be nice, I said "Good morning!" He averted his eyes from looking DIRECTLY at me, and walked away without a peep.

If there is something universally known, it's that you should, as a matter of common decency, say, ACKNOWLEDGE someone when they make an effort to wish you a good morning.

Please help me decide how to torture this dude silently until he breaks down and begs me to forgive him (which is when my timely raise will take effect - I'm psychic, you know).

New plan #1:
Ignore him. (So, that one isn't dramatic, but it is easily executable.)

New plan #2:
When I see him walking around, I'll secretly go to his office, sit in his chair, prop my feet up on his desk and read a magazine. When he asks me what I'm doing, I won't acknowledge HIS existance.

New plan #3 (my personal favorite):
Make socket puppets of him and me, then, in preschool style, go to his office, act out how to be polite in the adult world, and teach him what his mommy never did.

Which do you think would be the most effective? I'm certainly open to other effective solutions...

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