11 things you shouldn't do during a staff meeting

This list may be a little surprising to some people.  Trust me, you shouldn't do these things at a staff meeting.

1. Do not fall asleep.

2. Do not write "lawyer," "client," or any other obscenities on the forehead of the sleeping coworker next to you (despite the fact that s/he broke Rule #1 above). Remember, you could be the next victim.

3. Do not tape a "HELP ME!" sign to a window and look very distressed as the window washer washes the conference room window.

4. Do not add in photos to the presenter's powerpoint of the boss with his secretary in Cancun. (If you have to do this, stealth ninja skills are required).

5. Do not do yoga.

6. Do not wear a Richard Nixon mask.

7. Do not make paper airplanes from the worthless "Agenda" no one cares about and/or follows.

8. Do not doodle on the conference room table with sharpies (even if you just got your multi-colored sharpie set on special order from the supply queen).

9. Do not bring your bottle of Jack Daniels with you. Do pour Jack Daniels into your coffee cup before your meeting.

10. Do not blow-up a paper bag and pop it in you sleeping coworker's ear.

11. Do not lick people. They are salty.