Joke of the Day: To Comma or Not to Comma

I am one of those people who LOVES to use commas. Commas are pretty much the best punctuation ever invented.  Sometimes, I add a shortened clause just to use a comma.  If I could, I would decorate with commas - everywhere.  I would make art made only of commas.  I dream about going to Comma (that's a special comma land I made up).  If I could give commas for Christmas, you betcha I would.  I think some things I write sound like Captain Kirk's speech.

People like me drive comma haters crazy.  (It's mutual!)  B-Dub is one such comma hater. (He is also a habitual run-on sentence offender, which also drives me crazy.  Yep, he's one of those.)

Here's a recent conversation I had with Scooter (new secretary) about something he drafted: