JD is an attorney (hence the nickname JD), but couldn't find a lawyer job, so he took a job with our firm as a Paralegal.
Today, he asked what ABN and LR meant.
For those who don't live in a law office, you may not know that those acronyms stand for "associated business name" and "local rule."
That's right. He didn't know LR meant local rule. Oh the humanity, bring me some sticks to draw that man a picture on the wall of his cave!!
One day, my superpowers as Superlegal will be a force to recon with. On that day, justice will dillute the evil cesspool of posers who attempt to practice law.
Until then, I will stick to my pranks. Some pranks I thought of to play on JD:
1. Put stick figure drawings on his chair of stick people getting fired.
2. Add "goals" to his calendar, like
"GOAL #1: Find another job, they don't want me here,"
"GOAL #2: Read and understand a sentence with legal mumbo jumbo," and
"GOAL #3: Try harder not to ask stupid questions that annoy other people."
3. Rub a dirty diaper on his chair (dirty side down), so the smell gets on his pants.
4. Change the default printer to a printer in our downstairs office. (Yes, he's that stupid.)
5. Move his chair to the downstairs office.
6. Write a ransom note using pasted cut-out comic letters telling him he must pay even more money to go back to law school, because he obviously learned nothing.
7. Schedule court appearances on his calendar for cases that don't exist.
8. Tear out random pages from his LOCAL RULE books (he doesn't know what they are anyways).