Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Secretary X huffed and puffed and blew down the copier!

Yesterday was the first day of a trial for one of my cases. Things are bound to be rushed on the first day. No matter how much you prepare, there are still things to do once people start lying on the stand. Secretary X does not understand this evidently, because she was walking around huffing and puffing (without residual buliding structure collapse) because everyone was spending time on the trial instead of helping her. So, imagine her surprise and disgust when I asked to cut-in at the copier to make some mid-trial exhibits that B-Dub needed ASAP.   Secretary X slammed her hands down on the copier, jammed it and walked away. I tried to fix the jam, but to no avail. It kept jamming, likely because she knocked a part loose. After several jam clears and re-jams, the copier gave up, stopped working and said a service call was required.  I was, however, able to scan documents and print them from my printer (genius Superlegal). I should really express my gratitude to Secretary X for her outbursts. They so greatly enrich everyone's life.

I was also appalled when she threw a hissy fit right in front of a Big Insurance Client (who gives us about half of our work). What could have caused that? Well, the Big Insurance Client asked where our insured was, after he didn't show up for his deposition preparation meeting.  Wait just a minute, Big Insurance Client!! You can NOT talk to Secretary X like that! You should telepathically know where the insured is. How dare you!! Secretary X agreed that Big Insurance Client was rude to ask such a question. Secretary X threw her papers down on her desk, took a loud, deep breath, and, with all the attitude she could muster, explained that she sent them a letter to come to our office, "as [she] always does." I'm glad she set Big Insurance Client straight. As Secretary X demonstrated, you should not take such abuse from anyone, including Big Insurance Client(s).

Wait, it doesn't end there.  All day, Secretary X huffed past my desk every 30 minutes to go smoke. I am all for people taking regular breaks - they are absolutely necessary for our sanity (although not always feasible). But when you are gone from your desk more than you're at you're desk, that's when you are doing it right! Not to mention her head was down on her desk the times she was at her desk. Now that's how you do it. Con your way through a job sleeping and smoking and doing no work whatsoever. What a dream!

Now, for new readers, please don't send me hate-mail because I'm writing about someone who was having a bad day. Look back through my blogs. You will see this is NORMAL behavior for her. Please direct your hate-mail to her.


  1. You have enough readers to get hate mail?

  2. Yep, hate-mail. Some are all the way from Fort Worth, Texas! See the following blogs for a glimpse:



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