Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Firing Secretary X

I don't have experience with being fired, witnessing the firing of others, or holding the ax. My ideas about "firing" comes from the few Celebrity Apprentice episodes I have watched. (Shut up! It is real!!)

So, my mind has been pondering what the inevitable firing of Secretary X will look like. Here is what I envision:

B-Dub will ask Secretary X to come meet in his office. B-Dub will shut the door behind her and she will sit across from him in his big boss-man chair. Secretary X will immediately start snarling and showing her incisors in a rat-like attempt to intimidate B-Dub into letting her keep the job she doesn't like or want -- after all, it has always worked before.

B-Dub will tell Secretary X that, among other things, her no call no show on a trial day was unacceptable and that she is no longer employed here and she will need to pack-up her personal belongings.

Stunned, Secretary X will say that, after all her poor judgment, whining, attitude and bad work ethic, she just can't understand why this is happening to her. He will explain to her that he cannot accept her behavior and that it has been a long time coming.

Secretary X will start laughing hysterically and repeat quotes from "The Office." She will jump up onto B-Dub's desk warewolf-style and scutter around crouched on his desk "froggy style," dusting the papers off his desk with her growing spiny tail.

At this point, she is full-on monster. Fangs, scales, fur, talons, you name it.

She will hop around in circles, bouncing off the ceilings and walls, before leaping out of his office, onto the elevator, and out of my life FOREVER!!!  Buahahahahaha!!