Friday, May 13, 2011

Friday the 13th is Blame Someone Else Day!

Today, on Friday the 13th, be sure to celebrate the real holiday: Blame Someone Else Day. It's a real holiday (although, Hallmark probably doesn't have cards on point - jerks!). I say we petition to rename the holiday to Secretary X Day.

In honor of Her Royal Secretariness on her special day, here are some recent examples of things Secretary X has blamed on others (feel free to use the ideas for your own celebratory acts of holidayitude):

1. Irreparably jam the copier, requiring a service technician, and halting production so that there is a line outside the copy room at 4:00 of people waiting to get their deadlines out the door.

WHO TO BLAME: Copier repair guy for not anticipating the needs of the office. That jerk! (Happened last week.)

2.  Not scheduling a court reporter for a deposition.

WHO TO BLAME: the court reporting firm scheduler, of course. They obviously "lost" your order. (Happened yesterday.)

3. Transcribe a report to the client while B-Dub is out of the office at said depositions that is filled with typos and gramatical and spelling errors, and send it to the client without review or signature because B-Dub was in the aforementioned depositions.

WHO TO BLAME: B-Dub. He obviously didn't dictate instructions to Secretary X to read and proof the dictation before it went out. Not. Her. Job. (Also happened yesterday.)

4. Not inform the clients she scheduled an arbitration and have a default issued against the client for the failure to appear.

WHO TO BLAME: Superlegal. Superlegal spoke with the client many times and had the relationship with them. It should be natural intuition for Superlegal to tell the client what Secretary X should have told them. Further, everyone knows Secretary X doesn't do her job, so it should never be assumed that she has handled such an important responsibility of her job.

5. Fail to send in a motion to postpone a trial and field a call from the Hon. Angry Judge for Associate not showing up to trial assignment the day before trial is scheduled to begin.

WHO TO BLAME: Associate, of course. Associate didn't remind her incessantly to ensure it was done. Superlegal reminded her many times, but she doesn't have to listen to Superlegal. Duh, that doesn't count!! (Happened the last few trial sets - you'd think Associate would learn the error of her ways, right?)

[Special thanks to Grumpy Humbug for forwarding the link:]


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