Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Highlights of my day today

1. Witnessed an attorney arguing at trial that a dissenting Supreme Court opinion is (a) legally binding; and (b) legal standard when there is well-defined and well-established law on point.

2. Argued with an opposing attorney about why he should agree to an extension for a response to a bogus motion because B-Dub can't respond because he was in trial when he served his motion and will continue to be in trial through the date it is due. Did I mention that I waived a court rule two days ago on the SAME motion for the SAME jerk of an attorney as a courtesy because B-Dub was in trial?

3. Stood behind someone at some metal detectors while they went in and out a bazillion times before he realized he still had change in his pocket, arguing with security the whole time that he had emptied his pockets.

4. Secretary argued with me about court rules. When I showed her the rule, she told me it was stupid. (You needn't follow stupid rules.) When did I have to start cite-checking my instructions, anyways?

5. Quote of the day: "The best hookers are always busy." (Says B-Dub). Note: I practice civil litigation. I'll let you connect those dots.


  1. AnonymousJuly 20, 2011

    Love #5! - Scott

  2. Me too! That was the biggest highlight of my day!! Anytime you can get a laugh, you know.

  3. AnonymousJuly 21, 2011

    #4 is great! Just tell the Judge that the secretary thinks the rule is "stupid". I'm sure that will take care of the problem.

    Paralegal Hell

  4. @PH: You know, I think you're right. I think that would make a big difference. Maybe, B-Dub can beat the motion by just telling the judge the motion is stupid. OR maybe B-Dub could file a response where he just hand-writes "stupid rule, stupid motion" on the paper. Thanks for helping me brainstorm. Please bill my firm for your 0.2 of time. ;0)

  5. If only all days were as exciting! ... ;-)