Things Secretary X refuses to do

There are lots to choose from, but here are a few:

1. Take responsibility for her actions.
2. Be quiet for once.
3. Not bother me.
4. Make decisions she will be held accountable for.
5. Draft anything (even routine trial postponements).
6. Bill her time. Yep, she's that awesome.
7. Give me my mail without me asking for it (and sometimes not even then). 
8. Schedule appointments or court events AND tell everyone involved that it was scheduled. That is just too much to ask, so how could I expect such a thing?
9. Leave her attitude at home.
10. Join in my excitement in doing her job for her. Yippee!!